"Whether YOU want a better relationship or a better life, it all starts with getting in touch with Your own emotions"
What? An Artist Out of Touch With His Emotions?
When people told me to stop being so analytical and to start actually feeling things, I used to object. I wasn’t restricting my emotions, I told them. After all, I am an artist for crying out loud.
And yet it turned out that even when I was writing music, I was still holding my emotions at arm's length. I wasn’t consciously restricting my emotions or pushing them away, but I wasn’t allowing myself to feel them either. The extent to which I had truly been limiting my emotions became clear only when I learned how to really listen to what my emotions were communicating to me.
Up until this point, I had no idea what to do with my emotions and how to relate to them. My inability to feel them was creating all kinds of trouble, especially in relationships (with myself and others).
In romantic relationships this played out as me being clingy and needy. I wasn’t able to articulate what I wanted. and naturally did not get what I wanted.
I was insecure and possessive. This wasn’t fun for myself or my romantic partners.
I also had a tendency to get stuck in a loop, just dwelling on emotions and anxiety.
It was only when I learned to a new way of relating to emotions that things started to shift. As I was allowing myself to feel in this new way, my anxiety reduced significantly and I began to notice beliefs and past programming that had been affecting me all the time.
My Past Programming Was Messing With My Life
Negative beliefs about myself kept me from living the life that I wanted and having the kind of fulfilling relationships that I craved. I'd just accepted these beliefs as true.
Until I was able to get in touch with my emotions, I was never able to see how this subconscious programming was restricting me. Once I learned to connect with my emotions, I saw clearly how this programming was operating and I started to change.
This has made such a difference in my life, I am now sharing the same process with others. By getting out of your head and into your emotions (including your body), your intuition is heightened and solutions flow.
One example from my own life was uncovering internalized beliefs related to craving affection and asking for it: "You can't do that", "You want too much", "There is something wrong with you", and "Wanting affection is embarrassing".
These beliefs were attached to a bunch of images from my childhood.
Instead of telling my romantic partners what I wanted, I would unknowingly do things to make sure they did NOT give me the affection I was looking for. I was doing this to prove myself these old beliefs were true. My behaviour did not change before I allowed myself to really feel my feelings and got in touch with the emotions associated with these beliefs.
For me, this was a slow process. At first, I learned a number of self-inquiry techniques. They didn't quite do the trick, but they did point me in the right direction.
Later, I found an approach called NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM). This is when things really clicked. With this approach, I started to learn much more quickly than with any other approach or modality I had tried before.
Now I offer private sessions using this modality, and my clients are getting the idea in a fraction of a time it did for me to learn even the basics.
The Way of Compassion and Acceptance
Allowing your emotions to be experienced can be daunting at first.
To be able to access our emotions, we often need someone else to be there with us – at least in the beginning. I certainly did, and I have come to believe this experience is universal.
As my emotions surfaced, the people that were helping me with the process never judged me. I felt complete acceptance even in the midst of emotional turmoil.
From experiencing this, I learned to emulate this acceptance and have compassion for myself. This has allowed me to have more compassion not only for myself but also for others. I can now show up more authentically in all my relationships.
This is the basis for the sessions I offer to my clients.
For practical examples of how my sessions have helped other people, please see the testimonials.
Have you experienced similar challenges yourself? Or suspect you might benefit from learning a new way to connect with your emotions? If so, I am happy to tell you more about the process.
Please book a 20-minute Zoom call with me, and I can show you how the process works.
To book a call, you can use my online booking calendar:
https://calendly.com/juuso-voltti/20-minute-introductory-call
I'm looking forward to seeing you on the call!
