The Kiloby Inquiries – A Short Introduction

What are The Kiloby Inquiries?

The Kiloby Inquiries (KI) are a set of tools created by Scott Kiloby, Julianne Eanniello, and Dan McClintock.

Together these simple tools:

  • Enable you to comfortably feel your emotions without having to avoid them.
  • Resolve personal conflicts in a gentle way.
  • Allow you to be more intimate and connected in relationships.
  • Guide you back to feeling peaceful and safe, even in the midst of emotional turmoil, difficult life situations, or anxiety.
  • Help uncover unconscious beliefs that are holding you back and possibly making you engage in addictive behaviours.
  • Allow those beliefs to effortlessly change by simply acknowledging them and experiencing any associated emotions.
  • Teach you how to effortlessly rest in the present moment and incorporate Mindfulness into your everyday life

For practical real-life examples, see the testimonials.

How do The Kiloby Inquiries work?

The inquiries are based on a very simple principle.

When we are triggered or emotionally upset, this is usually a combination of thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. In traditional mindfulness, we are trying to allow all of these to be there. Unfortunately, this can often feel quite overwhelming.

What we do in KI, is we separate these three aspects. Instead of feeling them all at once, we experience them one at a time. While this may seem like a small thing, it can have a profound effect on your experience.

First, we look at thoughts and observe them as either words or images. Then, as these thoughts have been acknowledged, our attention goes naturally to emotions and body sensations.

At this point, different emotions might come up.

When all the words and images associated with a particular emotion have been seen, you begin to experience the emotion in a different way. Without the associated words and images, the physical component of the emotion does not feel threatening anymore. Now, the experience is that of a wave of sensations washing gently through your body.

All aspects of the experience (words, images, emotions, and body sensations) are welcomed. Nothing is avoided or sidestepped. These different aspects are simply experienced in a gentle fashion, one at a time until there is nothing more to resist or avoid.

The result is a natural sense of peace.

How does feeling our emotions help change our beliefs?

In childhood we often unconsciously learn certain beliefs about ourselves and our relationships as a way to cope with difficult situations and emotions. These beliefs can become locked in and still be at play in our relationships even though they no longer serve us in our adult lives.

These underlying beliefs can be what is truly running the show and driving our thinking and behaviour. As long as these beliefs stay hidden, they will keep running the show. This is why we still sabotage ourselves despite reading all the self help books on the market!

There are many modalities which aim to uncover these beliefs and change them. Unfortunately, we can't just go and change our beliefs. As you may have already realized, our minds don't work that way.

The reason why changing our beliefs doesn't work is because beliefs are not separate entities. Instead, they are interconnected in a web of thoughts, emotions and body sensations. You can't experience one aspect without the other two. Therefore, in order to uncover unconscious beliefs you also need to experience the associated emotions. The Kiloby Inquiries help you do this.

KI is a method of gently uncovering these beliefs and bringing them into our conscious awareness. This process is incredibly powerful in dissolving these patterns so that over time we can come to relate to others from a place of wholeness and clarity.

For a real-life example of what The Kiloby Inquiries can do, please read my own story on how I learned to get in touch with my emotions and how that has impacted my life and relationships.

How do I learn to use The Kiloby Inquiries?

The easiest way to learn this is to schedule a session with a certified KI facilitator.

Working with a facilitator allows you to experience the process without having to intellectually keep track of what you should be doing. All you need to do is follow simple instructions as you are guided gently through the whole process.

Learning The Kiloby Inquiries has been a very important part of my healing journey and I am now a Certified The Kiloby Inquiries facilitator myself (D1 & D2). Having said that, in my private sessions I use several different modalities in addition to The Kiloby Inquiries. Sometimes The Kiloby Inquiries are only a tiny part of the session, or I might use a different framework altogether.

If you wish to be facilitated specifically using The Kiloby Inquiries, there are several very good certified KI facilitators to choose from. What I offer in my sessions is a safe place to explore what is getting in the way of you enjoying your life in a gentle, trauma-informed context. This might or might not include using the KI tools. 

Effortless Self-Compassion™